..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
