He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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