I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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