there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
