I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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