im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
