It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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