I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
