I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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