Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize