im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Randomize
