Three words: puerto rican gang bang
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
love makes seman taste better
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
