how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I met the friendliest cop last night
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Randomize