Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
