Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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