Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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