I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
