I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
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