so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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