but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Pooping to opera.
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