I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
