Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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