I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
