okay pat passed out under dana's car
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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