Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
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