Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
