Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
That accounts for only three of the penises
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize