At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize