you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
