I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
