So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
