so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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