it's too hot outside to masturbate.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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