i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize