So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
