i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
