It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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