How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
