You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Never underestimate the power of titties
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
