i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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