I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
