Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
