Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Everything about him screamed your future.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
