How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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