She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
