Me. At least after what I've been through.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
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