Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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