omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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