At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
