If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
You are a genius and a whore.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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