this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
