Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
