Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
i think im in europe. pls send help
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
i think i just naturally attract stoners
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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