She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Are we still banned from the library?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
