Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
