I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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