Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Randomize
